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Still, I worry. That the way people judge him will become the way he sees himself. That if he ever messes up, the hair and jacket will make it stick harder.
Last Friday night turned all of that upside down.
Lily had just gone back to campus, and the house felt empty. Jax grabbed his headphones and pulled on his jacket.
“Going for a walk,” he said.
“All the better to vibe with my bad life choices,” he deadpanned.
He saluted with a gloved hand and headed out. I went upstairs to deal with laundry.
A small, broken cry.
I froze. The house went quiet except for the heater and distant traffic.
Then it came again.
My heart started racing. I dropped the towel and ran to the window overlooking the small park across the street.
Under the orange glow of the streetlight, on the nearest bench, I saw Jax.
Cradled in his arms was something tiny, wrapped in a thin, worn blanket. He was hunched over it, shielding it with his entire body.
The cold hit me hard as I sprinted across the street.
“What are you doing?! Jax! What is that?!”
He looked up.
His expression wasn’t smug or annoyed. It was calm. Grounded.
“Mom,” he said quietly, “someone left this baby here. I couldn’t walk away.”
I stopped so suddenly I nearly slipped.
“Baby?” I squeaked.
Then I saw clearly.
Not trash. Not clothes.
A newborn. Tiny, red-faced, wrapped in a blanket that barely helped. No hat. Bare hands. His mouth opened and closed in weak cries.
His entire body trembled.
“Oh my God. He’s freezing.”
“Yeah,” Jax said. “I heard him crying when I cut through the park. Thought it was a cat. Then I saw… this.”
He nodded toward the blanket, and panic hit me full force.
“Are you out of your mind? We need to call 911!” I said. “Now, Jax!”
“I already did,” he replied. “They’re on their way.”
He pulled the baby closer, wrapping his leather jacket around both of them. Under it, he wore only a T-shirt.
He was shaking from the cold, but he didn’t seem to care.
“I’m keeping him warm till they get here. If I don’t, he could die out here.”
Flat. Simple. No dramatics.
I stepped closer and really looked.
The baby’s skin was blotchy and pale. His lips tinged blue. His tiny fists were clenched so tightly they looked painful.
He let out a thin, exhausted cry.
I yanked off my scarf and wrapped it around them both, covering the baby’s head and Jax’s shoulders.
“Hey, little man,” Jax murmured. “You’re okay. We got you. Hang in there. Stay with me, yeah?”
He traced slow circles on the baby’s back with his thumb.
My eyes burned.
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