ADVERTISEMENT
As it turned out, I wasn’t the first victim of Eric’s “dating audits.” Mia revealed that Eric had a history of treating social interactions like business mergers, but he had managed to hide this particular trait from Chris for months. Chris was horrified to learn that his friend was using his name as leverage to extort money from women. Together, Mia and Chris decided to fight fire with fire. They drafted a “Counter-Invoice” and sent it to Eric, billing him for “Brokerage Fees for a Failed Introduction,” “Compensation for Mia’s Time Wasted on Vetting,” and a “Reputational Damage Surcharge” for Chris.
The situation escalated with a speed that revealed the true depth of Eric’s instability. When he realized he wasn’t going to get his “reimbursement,” his polished exterior completely disintegrated. His subsequent messages moved through the classic stages of a bruised ego. First came the defensive intellectualization, where he argued that “true equality” required shared financial risk. When that failed to elicit a response, he pivoted to raw anger, accusing me of being a “professional diner” who used men for free meals. Finally, he devolved into pathetic self-pity, claiming that the world was rigged against “nice guys” who just wanted to be appreciated for their efforts.