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Physical and emotional intim:acy trigger the release of key brain chemicals that regulate mood. Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” increases feelings of trust and emotional safety. Dopamine contributes to motivation and pleasure, while serotonin supports emotional balance.
In middle age, when hormone levels are already changing, the absence of these natural mood stabilizers can be felt more strongly.
One of the most painful realities of midlife depression is that it can occur within a relationship. Many middle-aged adults are not alone, yet still feel emotionally isolated. Conversations become practical rather than personal. Touch becomes functional rather than affectionate. Silence replaces connection.
Men and women often experience the link between intimacy and depression differently. Men may internalize emotional pain, expressing it as irritability, withdrawal, or fatigue rather than sadness. Women may experience heightened loneliness, anxiety, or self-doubt, especially during hormonal transitions such as perimenopause.
Social expectations also play a role. Middle-aged adults are often expected to be “emotionally stable,” which discourages them from seeking help or even acknowledging emotional needs.
A decrease in intimacy does not automatically lead to depression. However, the risk increases when it is combined with: