Barack and Michelle Obama Attend 75th NBA All-Star Game Together, Igniting Buzz

Marriage as Ongoing Work

As the discussion turned to the present, Michelle spoke candidly about the realities of sustaining a long-term marriage to her husband, pushing back against the idea that love reaches a final, effortless stage.

“We’ve been in couples therapy. I believe in the practice of having those conversations with objective people who help you piece through that stuff, and it’s a constant, it’s constant work,” she said.

She emphasized that personal growth does not end with marriage, and that partnership does not eliminate individual responsibility. “You don’t get to a point where, like, ‘I’m there. I’m done. I’m good. It’s over.’ […] We are ever growing, evolving, improving. There isn’t like a finish line where you get an A, and you’re now a whole person perfectly,” she added.