I put a la:xa:tive in my husband’s coffee before he went out to see his lover… but what happened next was worse than I imagined.

I looked at the clock.

One minute.
Two.
Five.

I sat at the table, waiting.

Ten minutes passed.

And then…

perfect timing.

“DAMN IT!” came a shout from outside.

I smiled.

I stepped onto the porch, wearing my most innocent expression.

There he was—bent over beside the car, clutching his stomach like it was about to betray him at any second.

He stumbled toward the house.

“What did you give me?!” he shouted. “I’m not going to make it to the bathroom!”
I placed a hand on my chest, pretending concern.

“Love… are you nervous?”

He froze, pale.

“Nervous?!”

“They say when you’re anxious about a date… your body reacts.”

“I WON’T MAKE IT!”

He rushed toward the stairs.

“Oh—and don’t even think about using the upstairs bathroom,” I added sweetly.

He stopped mid-step.

“Why not?”

“I’m cleaning it.”