nadia

The Engine Block A story about what a person carries when they leave, and what they bring back For five years, three months, and twelve days, I had been living with a silence so complete it had taken on physical properties, something I moved around in rather than simply experienced. I kept an exact count … Read more

What Stood at the Gate A story about the difference between love and appetite My uncle Richard used to say that wealth was not a reward. It was a test, and most people failed it before they ever received it. He said this in the particular dry, unhurried way he said most things, as though … Read more

I never set out to become the kind of woman people whisper about at a country club. That was never in the plan, not that I had much of a plan beyond getting through each week with the lights on and my son fed and my stack of ungraded essays within arm’s reach. I am … Read more

My mother’s name lit up my phone on a Tuesday afternoon at the exact time she was supposed to be sitting in her Community Health Studies class at the community college, which was why I almost didn’t answer. She was disciplined about her schedule in the way of someone who had learned to treat every … Read more

No Rank Visible I pulled into the driveway and cut the engine before anyone inside could hear it. The hood clicked as it cooled. I sat for a moment with my hands on the wheel, feeling the grit under my fingernails and the tight pull in my shoulders that never really went away, the residue … Read more

My name is Evan, and I have been a mechanic my whole adult life. I work at a half-falling-apart shop on the edge of town. The kind of place where the oil stains in the concrete have been there so long they are practically part of the foundation, where the coffee maker gave up sometime … Read more

You Are Still a Child A story about the difference between needing help and owing someone your story I called the county helpline at 2:11 in the morning, sitting on the linoleum between the stove and the sink because that was the only corner of our trailer that did not feel like it was actively … Read more

The Lake House My daughter-in-law told me her parents were moving into my lake house like she was announcing the weather. No request. No discussion. No trace of shame. Just a flat, entitled voice over the phone saying, “If you have a problem with it, sell the place and come back to Chicago.” I retired … Read more

The Weight of Words Part One: Flight 227 The cabin of Flight 227 hummed with the steady drone of engines at 35,000 feet. Outside the small oval windows, clouds stretched endlessly in all directions, painted gold and pink by the setting sun. Inside, the usual choreography of air travel played out: businessmen typing frantically on … Read more

Lauren My mother tossed two sleeping bags at my children and the thing that broke in that hallway was not the sleeping arrangement. It was the last excuse I had left for staying loyal to a family that only loved me when I was useful. Let me back up two hours, because you need to … Read more