I Came Home to Find My Kids Sleeping in the Hallway — What My Husband Turned Their Bedroom into While I Was Away Made Me Feral

His meals were served on plastic plates with little dividers. I cut his sandwiches into dinosaur shapes and gave him animal crackers for snacks. When he complained, I’d say things like, “Use your words, honey. Big boys don’t whine.”

The chore chart was a particular point of contention. Every time he completed a task, I’d make a big show of giving him a gold star.

“Look at you, putting your laundry away all by yourself! Mommy’s so proud!”

He’d grit his teeth and mutter, “I’m not a child, Sarah.”

To which I’d reply, “Of course not, sweetie. Now, who wants to help make cookies?”

The breaking point came about a week into my little experiment. Mark had just been sent to the timeout corner for throwing a fit about his two-hour screen time limit. He sat there, fuming, while I calmly set the kitchen timer.

“This is ridiculous!” he exploded. “I’m a grown man, for God’s sake!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Are you sure about that? Because grown men don’t make their children sleep on the floor so they can play video games all night.”